In the first flush of my post-menopausal years, I didn’t exactly experience the energy surge that Dr Christine Northrup mentions in her breakthrough book The Wisdom of Menopause. She refers to menopause as “the mind-body revolution that brings the greatest opportunity for growth since adolescence”. Talk about a positive spin.

On one level, I was still mourning the loss of my fertility and feeling a bit like a husk of a person. I longed to get my sexy back, not realising that it would eventually be replaced by something equally as powerful – a lust for life.

Or that I would soon regain ownership of my true self – the one I’d been hiding beneath the image, carefully curated throughout my working life, of the self-assured and capable journalist and the high-functioning single mother.

Northrup’s acclaimed energy surge slowly crept up on me but first there was a bit to get through.

My mother, whose health had slowly been deteriorating, died. I’d been preparing myself for it, while never quite believing that it would happen. Surely she would bounce back again? I became submerged in waves of grief.

There had been other deaths as well. Three of my closest female friends passed away – vibrant, caring women and confidantes who left a giant hole in my life.

I was retrenched from my high-profile job of 18 years’ standing and then my university-aged son announced that he wanted to live separately to me. For many menopausal women, these life changing events are part of the playbook for those in the third act of their lives.

For the first time in my life I became deeply depressed. I had been running on adrenalin for years, so without anyone depending on me now, I started to feel useless. What was the point of me?

I travelled but when I returned, it was hard to find a rhythm to my days; I became addicted to early evening TV quiz shows and watched the movie Mamma Mia on repeat, weeping throughout the sentimental scenes and mainlining blocks of chocolate.

Instead of embarking on my new writing project, I spent my time at the keyboard inexplicably hunting estate auction sites. Soon the boot of my car was crammed with other people’s treasures, despite the fact that I still hadn’t unpacked many of the objects from my late parents’ home. Was I becoming a hoarder? The boot of my car said yes.

It was time to take positive action and to find another job. This was not an easy task for an older woman. Many potential employers ghosted me, so I eventually accepted a role paying less than half my old salary. It was in a small creative studio with a bunch of 30-somethings, who were clearly not impressed with my years of experience.

I not only had to prove myself all over again but I had to master the computer literacy that I’d ignored in the past. However, finding new challenges, I discovered, is one of the keys to doing well post-menopause.

After starting work, I gradually realised that I was no longer depressed. I was fully engaged in succeeding in my new role. My adrenalin was kicking in again.

I started walking at lunchtime, as a release, and I also made an effort to lose weight, so I could fit into my old working wardrobe, which was not built around elasticised waists. The kilos had multiplied and they refused to budge, which is what happens around menopause for many women.

It took me over a year but I lost 23kg, through intermittent fasting. Looking in the mirror, I felt that I looked womanly again – hello, waistline. I also decided that if I could lose those stubborn kilos, I could achieve anything. I was rewriting the script and feeling a genuine lightness within myself.

My workload increased, I started to really enjoy the challenges of my job and I had a renewed energy for creative projects outside of the office. Suddenly I was also coming up with ideas for start-ups and doing presentations. I came to understand that perhaps the annoying wellness seer Dr Northrup was on to something.

My new regime now included strength training (I fished out the weights at the back of the wardrobe), prioritising sleep, standing on one foot to clean my teeth as a balance exercise and eating disgusting sardines on toast for breakfast for their calcium. I’d morphed into a full-on anti-ageing warrior.

This wasn’t in the hope of finding a silver fox, you understand. Dating no longer interested me but I discovered that I now had almost as many male friends as female friends. With sexual politics off the agenda, I have really started to enjoy the company of men.

It’s also liberating being no longer sexually objectified. I once dodged building sites to avoid the catcalls but now when I walked past it was just – crickets. There are other bonuses as well. I’m sometimes offered seats on public transport and I always gladly accept them.

My son and I enjoy a great relationship but I also love my own independence and the spare time, which allows me to indulge in whatever I want. Life is good.

My message is to embrace the dreaded “change of life”. These post-menopausal years can feel like a bonus – they’re life’s holiday pay.