Born in Surrey, Justin Hawkins, 49, wrote music for adverts and played in bands with his brother, Dan. In 2000 they formed the Darkness; their hit singles include I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and they won three Brits and an Ivor Novello before splitting in 2006. Having reformed in 2011, the Darkness toured with Lady Gaga and their 2017 record, Pinewood Smile, became their third UK Top 10 album. On 6 March they start a UK tour and their new album is Dreams on Toast. Justin lives in Switzerland.

What is your greatest fear?
Fear is for frightened people. I’m not one of those.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
The left-hand side. My left, not yours.

If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
People who buy records.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Steve Buscemi.

What did you want to be when you were growing up?
Straight.

What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
“I would love to go on a date with you, but I’d be too embarrassed.”

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
No such thing as a guilty pleasure.

What do you owe your parents?
A kiss on the mouth and a punch in the face.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Whoever has to use the bathroom after my brother.

What does love feel like?
It’s really, really nice.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Ostinato and hey. But enough about my sex life.

What is the worst job you’ve ever done?
Cockroach stamper at a dried-flower factory.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
The main courses are never as tasty as starters. But enough about my sex life.

If you could edit your past, what would you change?
Absolutely nothing.

When did you last cry, and why?
I cried watching the movie Coco with my daughter.

How often do you have sex?
Enough about my sex life.

What would you like to leave your children?
A strong work ethic and enough wealth not to need it.

What is the closest you’ve ever come to death?
A flight from Paraguay to South Africa that went badly wrong. The plane nearly fell out of the sky and the oxygen masks dropped. People were screaming but the pilot saved the day, and then apparently never flew again.

What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
OCD medication.

What keeps you awake at night?
Intrusive thoughts and caffeine.

Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?
Yes.

How would you like to be remembered?
Fondly.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
The best way to spend time is to waste it.

What happens when we die?
Massive DMT release, your perception of time dilates, you realise you can fly, then it all goes black, and you start again, only this time … you’re a slug.