Key events
But otherwise, peace out.
Otherwise, thatâs me done â our report will be here and on-site very soon indeed. But afore we go, I promised you a scrotal-scrunch snap, and I simply couldnât let you down so, without further ado:
Exhibit B
Simeone is in tears and his players are going wild. This thing of ours, mates â itâs really something, isnât it?
Well then. When Inter scored â that feels a long time ago now â the tie felt over, as it did as normal time drew to a close. But Atleti are a very particular thing, and somehow, they found enough to go through. Inter will be gutted because they thought they could win this; for a while, their imminent Scudetto will feel like an anticlimax because itâs not close and theyâre disappointed. But they remain a fine, improving and interesting team, even though theyâve missed a big opportunity here.
Atletico Madrid beat Inter 3-2 on penalties to reach the Champions League quarter-finals!
Lautaro larrups over the bar, Stam-style like he means to, and Atleti are just the height of Atleti! The ground is a livid, vivid mass of bodies. football!
GOAL! Inter 2-3 Atletico (Correa)
Another stormer, Correa crunching in off the underside. On the touchline, Simeone chuckles at the pain; Martinez must score to force Atleti to nail their last goâ¦
GOAL! Inter 2-2 Atletico (Acerbi)
A smash down the middle and Inter stay in it, just.
GOAL! Inter 1-2 Atletico (Riquelme)
Riquelme whips right-footed into the bottom-left and Atleti are almost there! NOISE!
Miss! Inter 1-1 Atletico (Klaaseen)
Oblak saves again and the ground goes wild! He launches off his line hurls himself right, and shovels away!
Miss! Inter 1-1 Atletico (Saul)
Another poor effort, low and central, Sommer almost diving past it before saving with a thigh.
Miss! Inter 1-1 Atletico (Sanchez)
A clip down the middle that Oblak claws away with his trailing hand. Advantage Atleti!
GOAL! Inter 1-1 Atletico (Depay)
Same same, a nails effort slammed into the roof, almost taking the net off its moorings.
GOAL! Inter 1-0 Atletico (Calhanoglu)
Calhanoglu slams high and hard to the keeperâs right and heâs nowhere near it.
The penalties will be at the Inter end and Inter will go first. That second aspect achieves victory well over 50% of the time. Here comes Hakan Calhanogluâ¦
âI didnât have many success in penalty shoot-outs in my career,â says Joe Cole. Rio Ferdinand does very well not to mention Moscow. But if he had, Cole couldâve reminded him of this abomination.
âMay I be the first to mention how Champions League shootouts are like London buses?â asks Robert Speed.
What, dirty, disappointing and for kids?
FULL TIME IN EXTRA TIME: Atletico Madrid (2) 2-1 (2) Inter
Draw thou art and penalties shall be.
120 min Hermoso slides a lovely pass ito midfield, Depay offloading for Riquelme, who darts towards the box, swivels into a cross, and accepts the corner. Up go the defenders, a crowd scene around Sommer ⦠who comes and punches clear. Thatâll be it or close to it.
119 min â¦Riquelme curls in and De Vrij heads clear.
117 min In theory I fancy both of these keepers to save one or two penalties, except players are so good at taking them now. But maybe we wonât get them, Memphis bumping Bisseck under a high ball which akllows him to bring it away, Correa is running away from Pavard too, so Bisseck performs the hack and accepts the yellow. Free-kick Atleti, 25 yards out, over on the leftâ¦
115 min Riquelme wriggles at Pavard, diddling him on the outside before coaxing a cross to the back post where Saulâs up, but surrounded by a phalanx of defenders. Iâd be keen to know how often extra time yields anything but penalties, though loth to dispose of it because when itâs good itâs stunning.
114 min Sanchez spreads for Bisseck, whose cross is taken down by Acerbi ⦠but a defender sticks a foot in.
113 min Calhanoglu curls way over the top, and itâs Inter pushing for a winner.
112 min Sanchez wants a ball more than Saul barging on to it and wearing the boot thatâs administered. Free-kick, 25 yards out and right of centre.
112 min Klaassen replaces Mkhitaryan, whoâs done his usual lot of nothing.
112 min And please be assured, Iâm doing my darndest to find you a scrotum-scrunch snap, but thus far, nae joy.
111 min itâs been quite a week for coats â both puffas and otherwise.
109 min âWhatâs with all these puffacoats?â wonders Joe Pearson. âItâs nearly 60 degrees there (15 to you, I guess)? Footballers are so soft.â
But so are soft, soft puffas.
107 min Again itâs Inter starting the stronger, probing as Atleti sit deep. But they end up playing back to Sommer to be safe, then he tries a pass that Depay almost intercepts, but Inter eventually clear.
106 min Fifteen minutes or penalties again; Atleti send on Saul for Griezmann.
HALF-TIME IN EXTRA TIME: Atletico Madrid (2) 2-1 (2) Inter
And still we canât split them. Inter are the better side now, but both look potential if unlikely scorers.
10-5+3 min ⦠and immeidately, Acerbi is punished for another foul.
105+2 min Correa escapes Acerbi who pulls him back and is booked, then following the free-kick, Correaâs low shot is straight at Sommer. Then Inter win a throw deep inside the Atleti halfâ¦
105 min Memphis will take the free-kick, lashing it right onto De Vrijâsâs bonce. Thereâs a brief pause, but heâs fine so on we go; weâll enjoy two additonal minutes.
104 min Heâs walking through is Memphis! He escapes Calhanoglu, attacks the two defenders in front, and eventually the one behind trips him. Free-kick Atleti, 25 yards out, almost dead centre.
103 min With that act, Thuram redeems a poor performance and is promptly replaced by Alexis Sanchez.
101 min VAR decides thereâs nothing amis â thatâs great news for Sunday footballers the world over, though sales of cricket boxes may soon go up. In fairness, Savic was tugging at Thuram too, and the pair are now enjoying a good old chortle about the hilarity of it all.
99 min Savic is down followed a collision with Percy Sugden Thuram ⦠and as we zoom in, we see heâs donated h a scrotum-scrunch. VAR wants a lookseeâ¦
98 min Calhanoglu swings it in from the right and Lautaro arrives on to it ⦠but heads down and wide. That wasnât a great chance, but it was a chance.
98 min So far, this is a really good additional period â we donât see many â and Inter have a corner down the rightâ¦
96 min Inter have started extra time like they mean it but then Correa hits a ping out to Griezmann, he kills gorgeously on his instep and sends Riquelme away down the left. Though he missed that chance, heâs played really well since coming on and, as Bisseck backs off, slides a fine ball over for Depay who uses the pace to turn it goalwards ⦠but Oblak flings out an arm to save well. Simeoneâs subs have been superb tonight.
94 min Bisseck, offered loads of space, crosses from the right and Thuram is unmarked in the middle! Heâs up early too, heading definitively and like he means to, miles wide of the target.
93 min âIn terms of substitutions,â writes Colum Fordham, âDiego Simeoneâs have been inspired. Riquelme, weaving his magic on the left and Memphis Depay showing twice that he is a superb striker. Contrast that with Inzaghiâs rather tame replacements. If this goes to extra time, Atletico must be favourites. Cracking game.â
Iâve not seen much Atleti this season, but what has Morata been doing to ge tin ahead of Depay? And yes, agree Inzaghiâs been tame all night.
92 min But Thuram brings Inter forward, finding Darmian in a lovely position by the box. But he realises heâs no idea what to do checking back inside, and eventually Acerbiâs cross goes behind.
91 min âWow,| says Peter Oh. âI think someone might be getting a depay rise.â
Iâm happy for him â I watched a lot of him in England and felt bad at the situation he walked into. Heâs turned this game too â can he keep at it?
